How'd you two meet?

Marc: Hinge. I swiped “yes” on her profile because I thought she gave off a bubbly energy and she had a picture next to the Millennium Falcon. There was also another photo of her doing a handstand. I did some quick math and figured a big smile + Star Wars nerd + handstand couldn’t possibly equal a terrible person and at the very least, I would make a new friend if there wasn’t a romantic connection.

Hayden: A little background to us even being able to meet. As my friends and family know, I got out of a very long term relationship in 2019. That ending was extremely difficult for me, so I actually ended up spending almost two years single. I did a lot of therapy and decided in the new year of 2021 I was ready to dip my toe into the dating pool. I was extremely hesitant, and definitely not looking to dive into a serious relationship right away. I had gone on 2 dates before matching with Marc on Hinge, we immediately connected on how seriously we committed to our mutual passions (even at a young age), how we each loved music in our own way but also so similarly, and had a mutual understanding of how busy we each were.

How long did it take for you to plan your first date?

Marc: SO! I think that for two extremely busy people, we did the best we could. With our schedules it took us almost a month to find a date where the two of us could actually give up time to go on a physical date. We did a lot of video chats, some of which lasted hours and we talked pretty frequently online but the only day where the two of us had time in our schedule to date was March 21st.

Hayden: Even then we couldn’t meet up for a month because of our schedules, I actually think it helped our relationship. I am not sure I would've been able to handle how intense and intimate our connection was if we had met in person right away. Things already moved fast, I can’t imagine how I would’ve handled it if things had gone even quicker! I was also going through a very difficult time, as my little brother was in the hospital, my teaching job was just beginning to transition back to in person, and I was facing a devastating issue at my coaching job. Marc was immediately supportive and never was angry or frustrated with my busy schedule, or emotional hesitations.

How did the date go?

Marc: Well considering that we’re doing an interview for our wedding page, I’d say the date went pretty well. It was definitely a ton of firsts for me in particular because it was the first time I went on a date with someone who offered to actually split the bill and rushed to pay the tab. As a broke grad student that immediately put a ton of points into her hat for me. My mom also tried to video call me during the dinner portion of it because they didn’t know that I was on a date and I actually answered it and showed them Hayden and told them I was on a date - haha. It was quirky, and awkward and funny but there was this spirit of courage in our first date and I thought it definitely reassured us that this was the beginning of something special.

Hayden: The date was so overwhelming for me. Since we had spent so much time online, I was so nervous that the connection wouldn’t be there, but I was equally nervous it would be! I had worked that morning and my friend (and bridesmaid) Maddie, had to spend the entire shift talking me down. I remember literally shaking as I was driving home to get ready. Then, a sign came. Maddie had sent a text telling me to listen to the Sexy Getting Ready Song, from my favorite t.v. show Crazy Ex Girlfriend, and that everything would be okay. This song is a parody of the getting ready montages in t.v. shows and shows a more realistic representation of how some women get ready before a big event. In the lead up to our date, I had told Marc how much this show meant to me, so he started watching it. Almost at the exact moment Maddie had sent her text, I had received a message from Marc saying how he had listened to the Sexy Getting Ready Song and was looking forward to seeing me. There were many small moments in our month of online conversations, but this one was the little push I needed to take the leap.

From there we went to Bent Paddle and Hinabi, two of my favorite places. I had told my friends where we were going because I am a true crime fan and have heard WAY to horror stories from people meeting online. I was having a great time, then I looked up to see MY FRIENDS WALKING IN! They sat directly behind Marc’s head and proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes peeking out from his curly hair. Meanwhile, Marc and I shared a couple rolls of sushi, and started a habit we still continue today, saving the best bite for the other person. We had deep conversations, answered a quick video call from his family, and confirmed that what we felt online would survive in the real world. Then at the end of the meal, I told him I had something I needed to tell him, in my most serious voice…. “My friends have been sitting behind you all night”.

I could see the surprise on his face, because I am sure he had no idea what I was going to say! We paid the bill, then had a quick introduction before I showed him my favorite overlook of the city off Skyline Parkway. We listened to music and talked and he almost didn’t kiss me because he was worried about covid, but ended up deciding that I was worth the risk. He then pulled out his phone and deleted the Hinge app, you know the one “Designed to be Deleted”. I then dropped him off at home and then had to text everyone of my friends to let them know that I was alive, and had a great first date.

What was it like meeting each other’s Parents?

Marc: I first met her dad on his birthday at Thirsty Pagan Brewing. It wasn’t awkward but it was definitely interesting because she wasn’t there for the first half of it. She had to take Vinny home to her apartment so she just introduced us and left. He’s a great guy though and we spoke about a bunch of different topics but I could definitely tell he was trying to fact check a lot of what Hayden mentioned about me. I met her mom shortly after at a friend’s birthday party at the Other Place diner? It was a funny first interaction because I met both her mom and her mom’s closest friends at the same time so there were a lot of eyes on me to figure out who was good enough to make it this far haha.

Hayden: Meeting his parents was definitely unique because of them being in Trinidad. I saw them on a quick video call on our first date for the first time, but didn’t get to meet them in person until Marc graduated in May of 2022, over a year after we got together. We talked on video calls a lot in that year but it was really great to actually spend real time with them, and show them Marc’s new life in the US.

When did you guys decide that this relationship was special?

Marc: I think you’ll get various answers on this. For me, I knew she was special after our first couple video chats. I LOVE free thinking individuals, and not only did she have that quality in excess, but she was so articulate and able to hold such a wide range of conversations that I remember saying, “You’re smart. I like you. We should go out soon” in one of our early ones haha. I think the first date confirmed that for me because I deleted my Hinge app off of my phone at the end of our first date because I had no doubts that this was the person I was meant to be with for the rest of my life.

Hayden: I think I knew he was different from very early on, but it wasn’t confirmed for me until after he came with me to regionals. Our first date lasted almost 6 hours, and we connected on so many levels, he even had already said I love you! But when he drove with me for over 8 hours, spent 4 nights in a hotel with me, stayed with me during my largest meet of the year, drove back and STILL wanted to see me? I all but knew then- 4 weeks after our first date.

Who said “I love you” first?

Marc: I said it 10 days after our first date and I will stand on that for the rest of my life. I knew that this was it so I didn’t wait. The delivery wasn’t clumsy or anything either! I do think it caught Hayden off guard though.

Hayden: Marc definitely did, and I almost had a panic attack. I was so overwhelmed to even be THINKING that he was my person, so when he was so direct and confident about me and our relationship, it was a new experience that really surprised me.

If you had to name each other’s top 3 traits, what would they be?

Marc: That’s easy - Selflessness, Authenticity and her Drive/Work Ethic. I’ve had the best seat in the house to watch this amazing woman tackle so many things in her personal life, her jobs, our little family, and she deserves every accolade and flower in this world. The life that we have now would not be possible with the work she’s done for the both of us. There has never been a time where I was overloaded and I looked at her for help or advice and she wasn’t there. I think the most beautiful part of it all is her consistency. She demonstrates those core values everywhere, to everyone - even if they don’t deserve it and I think if more people took a page out of her book and tried to apply it to their life, they’d be better off for it.

Hayden: The first thing that came to my mind is his constant thoughts of our future. I am not even sure what to call it, but there is truly not a day that goes by where he isn’t thinking of a way to improve our lives and setting us up to live the life we always have dreamed. The second is his thoroughness and dedication. Marc never does anything he doesn’t want to, but really knows everything about anything he decides to do. He needs to know every detail about it, and then will work to make sure it's perfect. This goes from his growth as a cook, and someday dreaming of being a home chef, to buying a car and then telling me about every other car he wants to buy in the future, to adopting a dog- and I am sure this will include buying a house and starting a family. The last one I will say is I think his support of the people he loves. Marc is a selective person, and definitely keeps close company, but believes in those people in a way that is so opposite of the hard exterior he likes to keep. He would do anything for the people he cares about, and consistently goes out of his way to ensure that everyone else is taken care of.

So, the proposal - How’d that go? Tell us about that.

Marc: I think our proposal, like many things in our relationship, was weird, quirky, slightly awkward, but had a lot of heart haha. It was a journey from getting the ring (which was a whole side quest in itself), to hiding the ring from her while showing my students at Marshall. Every opportunity I thought would be a good one to propose just ended up getting sabotaged. There was a song that she was supposed to get that will now just be a wedding present because with all of the plans I had, I froze. For the first time in my life, I actually froze. We started off the day at Duluth Grill and my students almost blew the surprise open because they kept trying to hype me up from behind the counter. I took over the driving duties with the hope of doing it at the lookout on the scenic route (which is where we had our first kiss), but I couldn’t remember how to get there! I didn’t want to use the navigation because then she would’ve figured out what was going to happen so I tried to find a way to help her get me there without giving the surprise away. It was very stressful and the entire time I had this ring burning a hole in my pocket. Eventually, we went to Bent Paddle, where we had our first date, and I tried to get the ring out of my pocket. It got stuck, so I literally yelled “Look over there! What’s that?” to get her to turn around so I could try to get my hand out of my pocket. I kept listening to her talking about the overpass construction project on I-35 just long enough to get the ring out of my jacket pocket and onto the table. She turned around and saw it on the table and immediately started crying asking what it was. She obviously knew what it was, and I gave an impromptu speech but I didn’t get down on one knee because it was a public place and I didn’t want to draw a ton of attention to the entire thing because that puts a lot of pressure on the person being asked. She said yes of course and we immediately called my parents and drove to her parents’ house to celebrate but we had to get the ring resized and she had to order a stand-in for a few weeks until it came back. Oh, I also did all of this on my birthday.

Hayden: The proposal was definitely not as I pictured it! We first went looking for rings almost a year before the big day- so I had definitely not been the most patient of people. Marc also can literally not keep a secret from me so I knew it was coming soon. We had plans to go to dinner for his birthday, but went to Duluth Grill, Bent Paddle and had tickets to a movie all before. I even asked him directly if there was ANY reason my jeans and sweatshirt and glasses weren't an appropriate outfit for the day. Then he started asking me about the freeway construction, and I was very annoyed because he was asking ridiculous questions- which makes sense now! I have never seen a proposal on tv, or been to a wedding that I didn’t cry at, so obviously during my own proposal I was a hot mess. I will say, he did NOT get down on one knee since he ‘didn’t want to make a scene’, but now I get to hold that over him for the rest of our lives 🙂

I told him he does owe me at least one on the knee moment in the future.

What’s it been like being engaged?

Marc: It’s a long engagement so we’re not as stressed as if we tried to do all of this in a matter of months. I will say we’re definitely feeling the pressure of deadlines a lot more in 2024 than we did in 2023. I think when the engagement was so far from the wedding there’s a lot of delayed reactions both from ourselves and our family members. I think this year is going to be the rollercoaster of emotions.

Hayden: I LOVE being engaged. I feel like I was a wedding planner in another life and I have really been looking forward to this since I was little. I love the details and I am so looking forward to seeing the day come together. I am definitely driving the planning train, so I am looking forward to checking off the rest of our big tasks so I can continue to focus on the little things.

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What are you most looking forward to on your wedding day?

Marc: Sharing the moment with people that I love. The hardest part about living away from so many of my close friends and family is that they don’t get to be part of my special moments as they happen anymore. This day will make it so that one of the biggest moments of my life happens with all of the people that love us in attendance.

Hayden: I am looking forward to having all the people I love in one room! I feel like individually and as a couple Marc and I have worked so hard to be here, and I am so excited to celebrate with the people who have supported us in our journeys here- and want to wish us well as we step into the next chapter of our lives.